"After four turbulent years serving the President, I took back the Department and made it my own." – Secretary-at-Large, Randall M. Packer

Believe in America

Maintaining the suspension of disbelief at the 4th of July celebration on the National Mall in Washington, DC

July 04, 2006

Up Yours Dolly

Up Yours Dolly

Despite Hellish conditions all around... today was the nation's celebration of America in Washington and patriotism was at fever pitch. Except for Dolly... she could feel the pinch, she could tell that things were not exactly right in this grand 'ol country of ours, she could feel the Government sticking it to her.

Posted by the Secretary-at-Large at 06:15 PM >>> Permalink

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July 05, 2006

What do Americans Believe?

What do Americans Believe?

The Situational Tours returned home to the nation's capital as our Under Secretary for Ironic Ambiguity went down to the National Mall on the 4th of July to find out exactly what Americans believe:

View the video portrait.

Posted by the Secretary-at-Large at 06:24 PM >>> Permalink

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August 20, 2006

Welcome to the Real World of Virginia


George Allen speaks for Virginians who live in Real America, rural Virginia, where real people, with strong family values work hard, go to church, read the bible, and vote Republican.

But then the Macaca showed up, a foreigner from one of those "other" countries, with a funny haircut, shooting video for Allen's political opponent James Webb. Clearly he was fair game, a stranger, an alien, a... Macaca.

View the video.

Posted by the Secretary-at-Large at 09:06 AM >>> Permalink

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December 13, 2006

Snow Job

Snow Job

With conditions in the White House "grave and deteriorating," on the brink of imminent catastrophe in Iraq, and not much time to salvage remnants of Presidential dignity, Tony Snow, White House Press Secretary continues to give cover, even to the question of urgency:

"Tony, what does 'urgency' mean?" "Well, I don't know... urgency means that you want it done as quickly as possible, and you want it done right," he proffered.

The Apocalyptic narrative continues to unravel, and in the final moments, before whatever lies just beyond the denouement, we can only gasp with wonder at the Administration's orchestrated effort to continue to cloud our vision.

Posted by the Secretary-at-Large at 10:56 AM >>> Permalink

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May 25, 2007

Christ is our Commander-in-Chief

Chist is our Commander-in-Chief

The Christian Jihad continues to flex its military muscle in the nation's Bible Belt - with Christ as their Commander-in-Chief - the Task Force Patriot will present their "Salute to the Troops" at Stone Mountain Park Memorial Weekend in Atlanta with flyovers, military demonstrations, vintage racing cars, Air Force display aircraft, gyroscopes, and bomb disposal robots. Their intentions are clear:

"The Mission comes first"

as Air Force Major Brian "Jethro" Neal gives Christian testimonials during an outdoor worship service punctuated by a flyover of B-2 Stealth bombers. If the followers pray hard enough, perhaps the Messiah will come and lead all five branches of the United States Military into the Great Battle that will silence Islam once and for all.

Hail to the Chief!

Posted by the Secretary-at-Large at 09:09 AM >>> Permalink

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