June 30, 2006
Opening of the Nation's Imperial Ministry
“My heart’s burden remains the same as it was in 1956: I long to train ‘young champions for Christ’ who can save America from moral ruin and evangelize the world for Christ in their generation.” - Reverend Jerry Falwell
Jerry Falwell's new Thomas Road Baptist Church opens on Sunday and the US Department of Art & Technology will be there to help on the first leg of the Situational Tours through the USA Bible Belt. It will be a sight to behold: a 1 million square foot, 6000 seat auditorium where Reverend Falwell will stage his spectacle of devotion, his passionate healings, his inspirational sermons that portray a stronger, more agressive, more militant, more Christian nation. Come to Lynchburg and Celebrate America! Before the nation disintegrates!
Posted by the Secretary-at-Large at 05:32 AM >>>
July 01, 2006
Thunder on the Mountain
10,000 Christian bikers will show off their pride in America as they parade for tomorrow's 50th Anniversary Celebration of the new Imperial Ministry of Jerry Falwell in Lynchburg, VA. They will dress their bikes in red, white and blue as they thunder up the mountain high above Falwell's Holy boot camp, Liberty University. It is expected that God will greet the bikers when He opens up the heavens and a great light will shine down as they throttle their engines and roar into the sky.
US DAT will be there to record this divine spectacle, for according to Iron Horse Ministries:
We're all in the same wind, fighting the same traffic, and on the same journey, enjoying all of God's creation.
Posted by the Secretary-at-Large at 09:30 AM >>>
July 02, 2006
A Taste of America
We are off to Lynchburg, home of Jerry Falwell and his Imperial Ministry for the Situational Tour : USA Bible Belt. First stop is Rubs Restaurant, for a taste of the local culture, where the Iron Horse Ministries will assemble their spectacle of bikes before roaring off to Williams Stadium. It will be a divine day as I travel with our Under Secretary for Eternal Life and his wife for a beefy, well-cooked, hard-riding taste of America.
Posted by the Secretary-at-Large at 08:32 AM >>>
Saddle Up Your Horses
The US Department of Art & Technology launches the Situational Tour USA Bible Belt in Lynchburg, VA, to bear witness to the Iron Mountain Ministries fire up their flag-decorated bikes for Celebrate America, Jerry Falwell's 50th Anniversary extravaganza to open his newly built Imperial Ministry.
Posted by the Secretary-at-Large at 07:00 PM >>>
July 03, 2006
John 3:16, Under Secretary of the Eternal Life, whose passage in the bible underscores the religious suspension of disbelief, brings us a probing report of biker culture from Rubs restaurant in Lynchburg, VA - those who ride to pray and pray to ride.
Posted by the Secretary-at-Large at 09:10 PM >>>